Virtual relationships can’t be trusted. You are judged by your own expectations and insecurities. Things get a an amplified dimension. The funny person is funnier because they are saying the perfect things to make you laugh. In your head, that is starting to create expectations and making things sound better than it actually is. In reality, there is a barrier, between us, that each side has the opportunity to create different hopes and expectations of their own, non stop, until…… we meet and everything you expected them to be, isn’t. The funny person disappeared. The accepting person doesn’t exist. The perfect person that you created in your mind….. is not him. Maybe he is too insecure to give it a chance. Then you are thinking you are not enough to them, maybe they think they are not enough for you and don’t even want to give it a chance.
It seems like he has been around enough to know where this is headed. Gotta accept that he has his own journey and he knows where he is headed. You can only wish them well and bid farewell.
The opportunity looked good until at the moment. Now I shut down all contact, delete all accounts….. its game over for virtual relationships.
I realize that people like me, once they get to know me. I can be intense, but thats just who I am. People either accept it or don’t. Its their choice to make not mine to convince them to stay. They are in my life or they are not. I can’t hold them against me. I can’t beg for their love and acceptance. They have a choice. If they are out, then they were never part of MY destiny.
You have to listen when you feel that unrest. He felt the unrest. He moved on quickly. It wasn’t meant to be. You can easily live guilty, but you gotta shake it off. What did I do? Where did it go wrong? Seemed so right! There is more to his story, but its not mine to fix.
Wish I could have asked: What did you want? What did you expect? I don’t ask for much, just for your care.
I know this is all part of the process. What I tell others goes for me too. Don’t settle, don’t give your crown away. Know your worth. Know you are better. Your destiny is yours to keep.
I had hopes for you, for us. It could have gone so well. Now there is a void. Maybe its a sign that I can do better, Even better than the perfect YOU that I built up so many expectations on in my head. This chapter has ended, but many more are yet still to be written. I will find the one who deserves my care.
Gameover. Time to live reality not virtuality.
October 2017
joy.pain.knowledge. 