Good Enough

“Falling is easy, but staying in love is hard
Hard to be honest and keep our heart open
To be who we truly are
Without the excuses, without the façade”

“I didn’t mean to be in a relationship!”

If you google that, no one has ever said that, ever……..no one has an explanation for that statement!

Who says that? And what does that even mean? Why then would you ask me to be your girlfriend, to soon lay that statement on me? How dare you think that you can toy with me and push my emotions around with no regard to the consequences that it may cause. This is not a statement to be taken lightly. This is not something you can do to people “just because.” Your words have value and worth and can negatively or positively affect people accordingly. How dare you take back what you said as if it was unimportant and easily dismissed. I can understand if you are not in the right place and may be second guessing your own intentions, but don’t expect me to be ok with it.

I am not OK. I am hurt to have opened myself up to you and have entrusted you with my heart, for you to toss it at the first moment you felt like it no longer served you. To think that I gave you the power of guiding my emotions however way you chose. I believed in you. I believed in our openess to one another with no games (at least from my end). I believed in the man you were to me, and that was my mistake. I believed in the potential we could be together, to conquer this world together, helping each other through the many challenges we would face. And that was also my mistake.

I entrusted my vulnerabilities to you too quickly, giving you the very best and worst of me, when you are not even able to handle the depths of your own vulnerability, let alone able to handle mine. You would think that I would have learned by now after all the failed relationships I potentiated. My problem is believing in people too much, too hard, too soon. Believing in the essence of their goodness even when they may think they are not good enough for themselves. Yes, your words hurt me like a knife carving into my heart.

But like everything else in life, this too shall pass. I wasn’t looking forward to falling, failing and being swept from under me, but this is another circumstance that helped me see that, resilience is real and when seen with a different perspective, I can learn from the mistakes and carry on knowing that the experience served to prepare me for the next moment in my life that will elevate me and make me a better person. My purpose in your life has been served and so has yours in mine.

I am good enough, for someone [Him] who looks through my insecurities and vulnerabilities, understanding who I truly am.

“Falling is easy, but staying in love is hard
Hard to be honest and keep our heart open
To be who we truly are
Without the excuses, without the façade
There’s no pretending”