Part I https://joypainknowledge.com/2020/01/01/i-thought-it-would-be-different-this-time/
Part II: Back to my friend who was also aching from the first of the year…He too had a falling out with his friends because of a mix of alcohol, personal insecurities and fragile relationships. What seemed so stupid for both our situations, had become a night of misfortunes we would never forget and wished we never experienced. Well, at least I didn’t feel alone in my misfortunes. As they say, misery loves company, and that night, we all came together to get away from the devastations and turmoils happening in sin city. This night was amazing and magical for some, I can only hope.
As soon as I sat on my designated seat on the bus, I got comfortable and attempted to doze off in sleep. While I close my eyes in an attempt to forget all that I had gone through in the last few days, I couldn’t cry. My insides were all knotted, I didn’t know what to feel, I just felt like there was some relief from being humiliated by a break up.
I am a believer of the philosophy: “do unto others as you would like have done unto you.” The hurt I felt is not one I wish on others.
Thinking back now, I believe that, had I stayed, it would have been even more tragic and things may have escalated further. That is probably why I felt at peace, because there was nothing I could have said or done anymore that would have made things better, just worse.
I would like to believe that, this is how it was supposed to happen. Just as it did.
I love him deeply. He will forever have a place in my heart. This old soul, young spirit and inexperienced human being has come into my life to bring me moments of joy, so I can feel alive again. My purpose in his life, whatever that may have been, has also ceased.
As this new decade comes to a beginning, I hope to live with a purpose and for a purpose, with focus, light hearted, open minded and ready for new adventures and challenges. I know that good things will happen in my life and as I continue to live it day by day, I want to project peace and love to those around me. I am not perfect. I am an inexperienced, perfectly imperfect human being myself, with a lot of love to give, and ready to receive it right back from people who are willing to live their own journey beside me, independently and together at the same time. People willing to stay in my life, no matter how hard it can get for either of us. Someone who will have my back, even when I am PMSing or just having a hard day.
joy.pain.knowledge. 